n these past weeks, I have not been able to work as much as I’ve wanted to. That includes writing blog posts. There were a lot of things that I mentally and spiritually needed to process. They were about fears that I had not even recognized as fears.
I have written that I was able to let go of my fear. Yes, at some point during the summer of 2016, I found that I could overcome the fear of having cancer.
It was a fundamental change. It changed how I could deal with my cancer and my healing. One of the most challenging aspects of having fears, is that we often make decisions based on those fears. For example, we would listen to, and rely on our doctor's suggestion without taking enough time to research other options. Why? Because most of our doctors would say, “If you wait too long, you cancer may metastasize and it will be impossible to cure.” One of my doctors actually said exactly this to me.
The fear that is created by these assumptions sometimes makes us rush to make our decisions. I know that not all doctors intend this. But I had some doctors that really tried to push me to make decisions by putting pressure on me, talking about the plethora of “worst case scenarios”. In the beginning, my husband and I often had to fight with this feeling. I always felt like there was no time when I was afraid of having cancer within me.
To be honest, there is always a possibility of that my cancer may get worse (grow bigger or become metastasized). But I am not afraid of that now. If it happens, I just need to deal with new conditions and will come up a new approach that I think is best.
Let's put it this way. Fear of cancer is similar to the fear of a car accident or an airplane crash. If we live with the fear every day and make all of our decisions to avoid the “worst case scenarios”, I bet that we will be very exhausted mentally, and it limits how we act and live our lives .
So for me, it was great that I could let go of my fear of having cancer, to not be afraid or have to stress about what happens next. I do my best every day to face what I have to do to improve my health issues... Eating healthy, carefully checking my body’s reactions, doing exercises, and so on. Most importantly, being positive. I always think about what I can do to detox and nourish my body and spirit. It’s become my job.
It does not matter what type of treatment we apply, alternative treatments or conventional treatments such as chemotherapy. If I am doing my best, and my condition gets better or worse, that is what it is. I just need to face and accept the new reality and continue do my best. If anything turns for the better, then that's fantastic!
Okay. Let’s back to talking about my fear that I have been processing for the last several weeks… I thought I had let go of the biggest fear (of having cancer) and there were not many big fears that were still blocking me from healing my cancer.
But some recent healing sessions that I had helped revealing that I have many more fears (ouch!) These fears were difficult to recognize because I did not know that even they were fears. So, I need to thank my cancer again to let me discover these fears within me.
When I spoke with my friends, I often refer the Map of Consciousness
by David R. Hawkins
, who I wish to meet
in person while he was alive. His books
became my bible. This Map of Consciousness can give us clear view of why we could create dis-ease by having negative emotions. Fear, Guilt and Shame are common negative emotions that can associate and create dis-eases such as cancer. Because of this, I do believe that it is so mandatory to recognize these negative emotions and let go of them. Otherwise, I cannot heal myself completely. That, David R. Hawkins, MD., Phd says, and I do believe that 100%.
I have been thinking.... There are many people who have a worse lifestyle, eating habits, and health conditions. Though I do not mean to compare with others, some people obviously look far less healthy and much sicker than I do, but they do not have cancer... Why did cancer come to me? What is cancer? After one and a half years, I’ve realized that our body creates cancer when there are many toxic aspects held within a person. Cancer comes to detox our system… If this is true, we must do all types of cleansing work. Simply cleaning up is not enough. Throughout the healing process, we are meant to learn how to nourish ourselves. So we go an extremely negative place, then cleansing is required. And to complete the all repairs, we must nourish ourselves and elevate our overall health.
It came because our being (body and spirit) was in a place of very low energy. We will need to fine tune ourselves to bring the entire energy field to not to an average or okay place, but to an extremely high place. My bodily and spiritual health hit rock bottom. To recover from this, I cannot just improve and go back to +-0; I need to raise my bar a much higher place in order to heal.
If I remember my physical health in the beginning of 2016. I was really bad shape. Now I really feel quite well and very healthy. People tell me I look fantastic, too. My blood tests (nutritions) shows that I am in a very optimal place, and my RGCC test shows slow but steady improvements.
So, why can’t I see a much bigger improvement with my healing? I mean my tumor does not look like it is getting yan smaller than I expected.
That has been my huge question, and I’ve been stuck in.
To be continued …